honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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