Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We are all done wearing pants today
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
