i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
