So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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