I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize