Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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