I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
