Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize