I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
