There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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