guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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