i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWWâ€
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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