ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
