Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
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