I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
