Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
