he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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