i already hear my dad disowning me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
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Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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