I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
