the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
