trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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