in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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