The maid of honor just puked.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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