my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
