Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
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I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
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I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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