You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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