There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
