Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
