Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
