stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.