can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
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i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
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We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.