I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
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like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
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She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.