So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"