Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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