I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
