The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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