New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
