When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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