Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
