Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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