I think im going to throw up on grandma
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
