So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
