Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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