All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
