We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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