I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
