just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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