He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
