dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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