was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
