Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
