Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
