I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
