so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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