Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
