im gay
i know
yea but for you.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
