Plan B is the new Plan A
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she smelled like a LAN party
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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