if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
