You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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