Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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