i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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