Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
