yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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