My hand turned me down
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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